Ok so it’s a New Year and along with the New Year I have decided to make certain changes in my life. Today has been a strange day, while it should have been a good day for me it was slightly off… all the things that have been bothering me the past few months or so just flooded to the surface I don’t know if it was just because it’s a new year or because I am now older and things need to change I don’t know, and NO I am not having a midlife crisis lol im NOT THAT OLD HA HA
For those that know me, know that I find it extremely difficult to say NO, if someone asks for help whatever it may be I always seem to say yes, and everyone seems to come to me, because they know I am sure to help, while that is my aim to help others in need, now this is where I struggle with this matter, we are supposed to help people in need, but must we still help when the help borders on use and abuse, go to Bernadette she WILL DEFINATELY help you…? Do I have the right to say no then? You see I have this problem with certain people, and while they help me a lot as well I feel like I am being taken advantage of because they have a certain attitude of you owe me so you must do this for me… keep mentioning I did this and this and that for you so you must help me with this favour. Not taking into consideration how many little favours I do which all add up, sometimes more often than not I have to cancel my plans and drop everything because generally these favours are required of me at the last minute.
Then there is the issue of my Mother, while my mother herself is not the issue, the issue involves her. You see I look after my mother, and I do it with the greatest of pleasure, although sometimes it is a struggle, as I do not earn a lot of money. While my brother helps me where he can, my sister does very little, please do not get me wrong here, I am not trying to name and shame anyone nor am I purposely airing our dirty laundry as they say but this has bothered me for some time and I do not know how to handle it. I have approached my sister about this before but have had no success, I am not asking for hand out just merely for her to take some responsibility as well. While I understand her reason for not doing more, I just feel that it’s a bit unfair that I am left to do it by myself. She believes that my mother lived her life made her mistakes and why must she suffer for it ok I understand SOME of her reasoning but not all of it. It really is a struggle for me honestly my brother has helped me so much even though he himself is struggling, whereas my sister has no financial problems at the moment. That is what bothers me the most, is that while she can help she does not, and I must admit it is causing a bit of resentment. I do not want to start 2012 off like this but I do not know quite how to deal with this issue without making the problem worse, the last thing I want is to cause a rift between my sister and I, as despite our issues I love her very much and do not want to have a strained relationship. (So here is where the peacemaker / people pleaser in me comes out and says well then this is best left unsaid and buried under the carpet)
I was sitting at my laptop and thinking if the things that needed to change and realised that the 2 problems above are 2 BIG issues in my life and I feel it is holding me back, while another issue is financial, it really is a struggle every month so tonight I decided to update my CV (resume) and apply for other jobs, jobs that paid more than what I was earning. I applied for one position and suddenly I felt this uneasiness come over me, it’s like when people say trust your gut, it was that kind of feeling that something was just not right, I chatted to my friend about it, he told me that I should listen and not look for another Job right now, God is clearly trying to tell me that the time is not right. Which led me to the question WHY? Why is the time not right, why have I been put in these situations, etc etc. My friend then told me that everything happens for a reason, God has a bigger plan for me and that me wanting to find another Job is not part of his plan right now. My friend is right; however it is still not easy. I have prayed about my financial situation before and things just do not seem to change, while I trust God and his plan, I just wonder sometimes wonder when things will change. While here it may seem to you that I have no faith that things will change, I prayed about it and continue to thank God for it. Maybe I am not doing it right I have no clue.
I will continue to pray and trust God and His timing, as well as some clarity on why finding another Job that will pay more not the right thing for me.
While some of you might think that I am complaining I really am not, this is something that has really been bothering me and I needed to get it out somehow, bottling it up is just making it worse.
So… sorry to those that have read this and did not enjoy reading it but this blog is after all my Journey and the struggles I face are part of the same Journey.
If anyone is facing a similar situation please feel free to leave a comment. I would love to know how others deal with these things.
God Bless all.
We all Pray when we want something in our lives, in fact you are probably trusting God for something right now. I know I am, I am trusting for a couple of things, and the thing is you can’t just trust him, for it. You need to pray for it and ask him for it. My opinion is you only need to ask once, every other time you need to thank him for it.
A lot of people Pray for something and then go on with their lives and days, weeks maybe even months later they say their prayers were never answered, well let’s look a little deeper into that, does the bible refer to you and me doing the WILL of God, or does it refer to God doing our will?
Continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose. (Philippians 2:12-13)
May the God of peace … equip you with everything good for doing his will, and may he work in us what is pleasing to him, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen. (Hebrews 13:20-21)
Submit yourselves, then, to God. (James 4:7)
There are many more scriptures that refer to the will of God, don’t you think that instead of saying “God, I asked you for a new job, but look it has been 3 months and I am still here why have you not heard me?… How about you say Thank you God for WHATEVER it is that you have Planned for me SO BE IT, whether it be a new Job or not. Thank you God that I have been put on this earth to SERVE YOU, and to do YOUR will. Thank you God for the New Job, when you ready I will be waiting.
Why have you been put in certain situations in your life? God has put you there for a specific reason; there is something he needs you to do. So don’t you think he will keep you there until that task is complete? What about looking at it this way… how about asking the following “God, why have you placed me here? What is it you need me to do here? Reveal your plan to me and I will be obedient and do whatever it is that you require of me.
Then there is this little thing called FAITH
Hebrews 11:1 says: Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.
So ask for that new Job, or the new car or whatever it is that you are trusting God for. And Have FAITH, that you will get what you asked, ONLY when the time is right. Have faith not only in God but also in his timing.
So to close
- Pray Until Something Happens (1 Thessalonians 5:17 – Pray WITHOUT ceasing)
- You only need to ask him ONCE ( I am almost certain he is NOT DEAF)
- Have faith that he will DELIVER
- Most importantly keep thanking him as if you have already RECEIVED IT.