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Looking Back


I was having a discussion with a friend yesterday; about Christianity and when we gave our lives to the Lord Etc. You see the thing is I have been a “Christian” all my life, but it is only NOW in the past few months that I have had that “TOTAL CONVERSION” so to speak. What I mean by that is that I am now at that point where God takes precedence over EVERYTHING in my life. My friend said the same thing, he has been a Christian his whole life but he too had a time in his life where he had that same “TOTAL CONVERSION” which was a few years ago.

 

In my previous post I mentioned that I had come across certain areas in my life where I still wanted to have control and not hand over the reins to God, and that is true. Then I started to think to myself how I could claim to have had this TOTAL CONVERSION, if I didn’t surrender ALL of me to the Lord. My friends and other bloggers all made the same point that we will struggle with this till the day we die. In fact 1 friend told me that he discovers things every day that he needs to hand over to God.

 

So the more I think about it the more I realise that like my friend said there will be MANY more times like this in my life that I have not handed over the control to God. The main thing is that I am aware of it and know that God is working in me, because he is bringing these things to my attention, telling me “let me have that part of your life…”

 

Like my friend said in a year from now I am going to look back and I am going to see how I have grown. The thing is I am doing that now already. I am looking back only as far back as when I started this Blog, and I have Grown SO MUCH and learnt so much. It’s amazing. God has been with me every step of the way, guiding every step I took.  

 

Today I stand in amazement at how far I have come, I never once thought I would be able to let go of past hurts and experiences, but I have. I cannot remember how I coped without God, I can’t remember my life without him, I remember the big events in my life but small things seem so distant. The big things whether good or bad I see now that they were there for me for the purpose of making me stronger. Many times I have asked God “where were you when…..? Why did you let that happen…..? Etc. looking back God was there he always was. I chose to shut him out, but he remained by my side throughout my life and for that I am grateful.  So every experience in my life was a part of who I am today and made me the person I am today. Had I not been through all of that, would I be sitting here and looking back at how I have grown??? I don’t thinks so.

 

So when you think God has left your side, think again HE IS THERE, HE IS ALWAYS THERE!!!!

 

 Deuteronomy 31:6 – “Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the Lord your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.”

 

 

Joshua 1:5 – No man shall be able to stand before you all the days of your life; as I was with Moses, so I will be with you. I will not leave you nor forsake you.

 

 

1 Chronicles 28:20 -And David said to his son Solomon, “Be strong and of good courage, and do it; do not fear nor be dismayed, for the Lord God-my God-will be with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you, until you have finished all the work for the service of the house of the Lord.

Jesus Take the Wheel


Jesus Take the wheel.

A friend of mine told me long time ago about the song Jesus Take the Wheel by Carrie Underwood, I have to date never listened to this song, however the title of the song keeps popping into my mind the whole day. So while I type I am busy downloading the song so that I can listen to it.  It is strange really how a song that I have never heard is constantly on my mind today, but I know that it is God speaking to me and this time I am not going to doubt that this is from him. Right now as I sit here and type this I know God is telling me to let him take over the driver’s seat, and I am ashamed to say this but it is something that I have realised, while I say I have surrendered my life to the Lord there are still certain aspects to it that I have not relinquished the control to God.

 

While this whole time I have thought that I have completely surrendered my life to God, I have come to realise that I have in fact not done so. This thought brings tears to my eyes. That I still despite my efforts not completely trusted the one who created me and the one that knows best.

 

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.” Proverbs 3:5-6

 

Honestly it’s not easy when your all you have done is put your trust people and then being let down, so now having to put your trust in something that you cannot see is easier said than done. While I know that God exists he has proved that to me OVER and OVER in the past months in fact in the past week he has confirmed that so many times, sometimes his presence was so obvious that I got shivers down my spine. Why then is it so hard to surrender ALL my life to him. Why it is SO to give up the control when giving up that control is what is best for my life.

 

So this is no ordinary post today, this is me admitting my weakness and asking for your prayers. I want God to have FULL control not partial control. ONLY then will my life be what it is meant to be.

 

“Blessed are all those who put their trust in Him.” Psalm 2:12

 

So Jesus please take this wheel from me that I’m holding onto so tightly, give me the Strength to LET IT GO!!!!

 

Here is the chorus to the song, which I still have not listened to. But the lyrics alone are powerful.

 

Jesus take the wheel

Take it from my hands

Cause I can’t do this on my own

I’m letting go

So give me one more chance

Save me from this road I’m on

 

“I will love You, O Lord, my strength.

The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer;

My God, my strength, in whom I will trust;

My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.

 I will call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised;

So shall I be saved from my enemies?” Psalm 18:1-3

 

Jesus Take the Wheel – Carrie Underwood.

 

She was driving last Friday on her way to Cincinnati

On a snow white Christmas Eve

Going home to see her Mama and her Daddy with the baby in the backseat

Fifty miles to go and she was running low on faith and gasoline

It’d been a long hard year

She had a lot on her mind and she didn’t pay attention

she was going way too fast

Before she knew it she was spinning on a thin black sheet of glass

She saw both their lives flash before her eyes

She didn’t even have time to cry

She was sooo scared

She threw her hands up in the air

 

Jesus take the wheel

Take it from my hands

Cause I can’t do this on my own

I’m letting go

So give me one more chance

Save me from this road I’m on

Jesus take the wheel

 

It was still getting colder when she made it to the shoulder

And the car came to a stop

She cried when she saw that baby in the backseat sleeping like a rock

And for the first time in a long time

She bowed her head to pray

She said I’m sorry for the way

I’ve been living my life

I know I’ve got to change

So from now on tonight

 

Jesus take the wheel

Take it from my hands

Cause I can’t do this on my own

I’m letting go

So give me one more chance

Save me from this road I’m on

 

Ooh, Jesus take the wheel

Ooh, I’m letting go

So give me one more chance

Save me from this road I’m on

From this road I’m on

Jesus take the wheel

Ooh, take it, take it from me

Ooh ooh wah ah ooh ooh ooh

My 2012 Commitments….no NOT resolutions.


Ok so my last post was about 2011 being the best year of my life, now let’s do 2012, I am not one to make resolutions as I never seem to keep to them, in the years past I have found that I set unbelievably high goals for myself and unrealistic resolutions. This year I have decided that, I will not set any resolutions, NOT ONE. I will however make certain commitments to God and to myself, and I will take it 1 day at a time.

1st the MOST important commitment I make is to be a vessel of God’s light and allowing him to shine through me, through my attitude, my deeds, my words I want people to see a change in me, I want them to see how Great God is.

Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven (Matthew 5:16).

The night is far spent, the day is at hand. Therefore let us cast off the works of darkness, and let us put on the armour of light. (Romans 13:12)

2nd I commit to reading my bible even if it’s for 5 minutes a day but EVERY day.

3rd I commit to scripture memory; a Christian will not always have their bible handy when in “sticky” situations so being able to refer to them at any given moment is an amazing ability.

4th I commit to improving my prayer life, and spending more quiet time with God.

5thI commit to fasting, whether it be 3 days, 10 days, 21 days whatever it is, I will make this an important part of my life and will do it periodically.

6th I commit to a healthier lifestyle, eating healthier meals, drinking more water etc, start walking… while I don’t drink much alcohol anymore I do have the occasional drink, I want this to stop COMPLETELY I do not want to drink.

7th I commit to being more involved in the church whether it be volunteering as an usher or handing out pamphlets at the door whatever it is I will become more involved

8th I commit to joining a home group in my area, and meeting new people, making new Christian friends that I can encourage and also be encouraged by.

9th I commit to helping the needy wherever I can, feeding the homeless on Christmas day was an amazing experience and I commit to doing it more often not only once a year.

10th I commit to reducing the time I spend watching TV and to use that extra time to speak to God.

11th I commit to standing up for myself and to not let people walk all over me and abuse me just because I do not know how to say NO.

12th I commit to saturate my everyday life with God, whether it be reading Christian books, listening to Christian CD’s, pasting scriptures and verses all over my house, I want my life to be a constant reminder to me that I am a Christian and that I live for Jesus.

 

Yes so I have 12 “commitments” there are 12 months in a year so 12 commitments is an ok amount I would say. And NO I will not tackle 1 commitment a month they will all be tackled on a daily basis. And by the end of 2012 and beginning of 2013 I will be EVEN more amazed at my transformation through Jesus as what I am right now.

 

 

 

2011… was it the worst or best year of my life?


Well 2011 was a very difficult year for me, I wanted it to end, that clock could not have struck 12 any sooner than what it had, everyone was counting down for the new year to begin I was counting down for the old one to end, or so I thought.

Then I sat and thought about everything that has happened and thought that maybe JUST maybe 2011 was the best year yet.

I met some amazing people, had some good laughs, memories that I will cherish forever. I had to face a lot of hard truths about me and the path I was on. I lost a family member someone who I loved dearly; family secrets were revealed that shook me to the core. I had been through a rejection by someone I cared for dearly, but yet through all that today our relationship is stronger than ever and we have remained friends through it, in fact I am a stronger woman today because of him.

I suffered from severe depression, I didn’t want to live or SO I THOUGHT, but looking back at the past couple of months it was never a depression it was an emptiness something was missing in my life something that was meant to be there but just was not. Somewhere along my life Journey I lost Jesus, but 2011 was the year that I found him, the emptiness is Gone AND THAT WAS THE BEST PART OF 2011, what was missing in my life is now present, not only did I find Jesus I also found myself, the person that was buried under all the pain and heartache, the person that was consumed by her struggle.

I have made some amazing friends, some whom I have grown to depend on some who have been an inspiration.  So I would like to mention some friends and family here, just to say thank you for making my 2011 great.

Firstly to Gigi (you know who you are), the friend that convinced me to write about my feelings, the whole reason I started this blog, you have been a pillar of strength to me in so many ways even though you are so far away, the times we shared when we lived together and worked together I will cherish forever, the jokes we made the laughs we had are a part of y memory and can never be erased. I LOVE YOU FRIEND, DEARLY. I can’t wait for the day when I will get so see you again, I can like to think I will pee in my JEAN PANT hahahahah ok so friend I can’t get the accent through to you on this blog but I am sure you can picture me saying it and I bet you right now you are REALLY just about to pee in your jean pant with laughter.

Then I want to thank my mother for Just being there, and doing the best she could with what she had, I Love YOU.

To my brother for being my support system month after month even though you too are struggling.

To my sister for believing in me when others sometimes didn’t.

Ok so for the sake of anonymity once again thank you to Frikkie hee hee… I complain a lot I know, and you have been the one at work that has just sat there listening to me all day long, goodness knows how annoying I must be sometimes, thank you for being someone I could talk to about work, issues, and about God, thank you for being a key player in me finding the thing that was missing in my life. Thank you to Lourens, too for putting up with my constant BBM messages asking about things that I do not understand regarding Christianity or things that I just need clarity on, thank you both for being so transparent in your love for Jesus, it was that transparency that made me want more in my life. You both are such an inspiration to me Thank you.

Thank you to Michele, even though we have never met, in the past 2 months we have become close via this blog and been an inspiration to each other, I feel a real connection to you and that connection is Jesus, I see you as a sister in Christ. Who knows maybe one day I will get to meet my new friend.

To John, also one of my new blogging friends, both you and your blog have been an inspiration, for me and I look forward to reading your blog every time I see a new post, your testimony is one that can greatly help others that are now where you have already been in your life, it was through your blog that God gave me the confirmation that I needed to do what needs to be done.

When I started this blog I never thought for one moment that I would get to interact with so many people and it is amazing, this blog has been a huge healing process for me and I never thought I would ever say this but I have discovered a new passion, and that is this blog, writing these posts have been an unbelievable healing process for me.

So to all of you who have influenced my life THANK you I pray that 2012 will be an amazing year for all of you.

ABOVE ALL, thank you Lord for filling this gap in my life, and making me the strong Woman I am today, and it just keeps getting better.

Isaiah 43:18-19 – “Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.

So in answering my posts title/question 2011 was by far the best year yet, bring on 2012 it can only get better.

Dont let the devil invade your thoughts


I don’t know about you but I sometimes struggle with negative thoughts, and ever since re-dedicating my life to the Lord again, those thoughts seem to me more frequent than usual. I read a book a few days ago that this is the devil that keeps replacing your positive thoughts with negative ones, trying to make you stumble, trying to make you give in and go back to your sinful life.

 

Like for instance, I feel God is leading me in the direction of fasting, it has been on my mind quite a lot lately but every time I think of it I also have this thought pop in my mind saying you will never last, don’t even bother starting because you do not have the will power to follow through to the end, if that is the case then why has God placed it in my heart to fast.

 

The bible says we need to take our thoughts captive, so for me this means that the minute you have a negative thought you need to discard that thought and replace it with a positive one and discipline yourself with this do it over and over again until the negative thought is no longer there

 

2 Corinthians 10:4-5 – For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds. We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ.

 

I have been speaking to a friend who recently did the Daniel Fast, if I am not mistaken he did it for 21 days, which is quite a long time, he said it is very difficult but that this is the time that I must stand strong and not GIVE UP, he suggested that seen as this is the first time in my life that I will be fasting that I do not do it for a long period of time, so I am going to start off with just 1 week.

 

This will definitely be a true test of how dedicated I am to strengthen my relationship with God. That is my goal so that I can grow more in my walk with the Lord, I am so hungry for more it seems like I can’t get enough.

 

This is why I am being bombarded with negative thoughts, because I want to be closer to God.  It’s not just with the fasting it is really with a lot of aspects in my life, I really struggle with my thought life, to get a handle on it is NOT easy, I am trying though. I AM A WORK IN PROGRESS, with every passing day the negative thoughts don’t become easier or being a Christian does not become easier, the difference is that as we mature in Christ with every day we become stronger to fight the battles against the Devil.

Philippians 4:8-9 – Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honourable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.

 

Has anyone read the book A battlefield of the mind by Joyce Meyer? My friend told me to get it as he had the same problems with his negative thoughts, and said I should get it… I have looked all over for this book and cannot find it anywhere. I will continue to look for it though sure eventually I will find it.

 

1 Peter 5:8 – Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.

I find that reading books have also helped my along this Journey so here are a list of some of the books I have read they are all really good.

 

A Divine Revelation of Hell – Mary K Baxter

A Divine Revelation of Heaven – Mary K Baxter

Walking in your own shoes – Robert A Schuller

A Case for the Real Jesus – Lee Strobel

He came to set the captives free – Rebecca Brown

Prepare for War – Rebecca Brown

From Bondage to blessing – Dee Alei

 

Not all of these books relate to dealing with negative thoughts however they are all books that have helped me along the way.

Click Here!!!!!


Hello Bloggers, well well well you clicked my post, that was pretty easy I’d say, now let’s see how many of you have read this post right to the end.

 

The title to today’s post was click here, it’s bound to make you curious, and it did that is why you are here not so?… now let’s say I changed the title of my blog to say click here for great freebies, would you have clicked?… I would have. What about if the title was click here to win a car??? Would you have clicked it…? I definitely would have no doubt.

But what if I changed the topic to, Jesus loves you… click here for more info? How many of you would have clicked on my post? Those numbers would have dropped I am sure… or what if I made the topic… Jesus would love for you to get to know Him better click here…. would you have clicked?? Again I am sure the numbers would drop.

 

Why is that? Is it because you do not believe in Jesus? Is it because you are too busy to know Jesus?? If that’s the case then why are you still here and why did you then click my post? Because surely if you too busy for Jesus then you too busy to read this post too?? (Don’t get me wrong I am GLAD you did) So here is the real topic of this post, and I pray that you will read to the end.

 

God Loves YOU, he wants to be a part of your life… Are you going to invite him in?

 

For many years I have been a believer in Jesus, but although I went to church and was involved that was about it, it was all on the surface but if you had to scratch a little deeper you would see I was a person that did the wrong things, the partying, drinking etc. I never really took God seriously. Up until recently that is.

 

Let’s take a look at scripture verses:

 

John 3:16–18:

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved [attain wholeness].

He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.

 

God sent his son for us so that we could be saved I mean how awesome is that, those of you that are parents? How many of you can actually say that you would make that sacrifice? So what does that say about God? What does that say about the amazing love he has for each and every one of us?

 

1 Peter 5:7:

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7).

 

It is clear, he wants you to give him all your worries and burdens because he cares for you….

 

Ephesians 2:4-5: 

But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved.

 

Now contrary to what you might think, I am not one of those people who will try and force you to do something that you don’t want to do, I don’t want to force you to believe in Jesus, or force you to accept him as your Saviour, I merely want to tell you that you are missing out on the most AMAZING love ever.

 

You are missing out on Blessings; you are missing out on healing. You are missing out on a relationship with your creator.

 

Now let’s take a look at the life of Christopher Hitchens: (13 April 1949 – 15 December 2011) was a British-American author and journalist whose books, essays, and journalistic career spanned more than four decades (Taken from Wikipedia). Christopher Hitchens, was an atheist, he mocked God, he even went as far as writing a book called God is not Great. In fact his friend Rick Warren himself said on twitter and I quote “My friend Christopher Hitchens has died. I loved and prayed for him constantly & grieve his loss. He knows the Truth now”. This made me wonder where his final resting place is. We do not know for sure, who knows maybe all the praying that Rick Warren did for him planted the seed, and maybe in his last dying moments he asked God to forgive him and come into his life, we can never know, I pray that he did, or should I say I HOPE he did, because to pray for that now would be pointless.

 

Which now brings me to my next question…? If you wear to die right now, for whatever reason it doesn’t really matter I suppose, but if you died right now do you know where you would go? Heaven or hell? Or maybe you are like Christopher Hitchens, and you do not believe that God even exists, and that this post means absolutely nothing to you and that you think I am some Bible basher that knows nothing, would you not rather be safe than sorry. I would rather die having the assurance that I will go to heaven, and if I pass on and there is in fact no heaven or hell (which I doubt) then I have lost nothing, but if I died without accepting Jesus into my life and got to heaven and was told sorry you can’t come in your final accommodation is hell then I have lost everything.

 

I am just not prepared to take that chance, are you?

 

If you have not been accepted Jesus Christ into your life—let me invite you to surrender yourself to him now.

Romans 10:13

For everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.

Give your life to God by accepting Jesus as your Saviour and Lord. Let me invite you to read the following as a prayer.

Dear God, I declare that I am a sinner. Please forgive my sins and accept me as your child. I invite you to be my Saviour and the Lord of my life. I surrender myself to you in the name of Jesus Christ, my Saviour and Lord.

Amen.

 

That was the first step, in order for you to really experience the love of God you really need to build that relationship with him, get to know him by reading the bible, praying and just fellowshipping with him, you might not hear him but he can hear you even when no words come out of your mouth, and slowly but surely he will reveal himself to you little by little.

 

If you are still reading this then I thank you, and I pray that a seed has been planted in your heart, that if you have not accepted Jesus that you will do so whether now or next week or next year that you will accept him.

 

That is the purpose of my blog, to win souls for Jesus.

 

May God Bless you.