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They can’t stand to see us SHINE… so SHINE bright for all of us to see.


I got an email from a friend today and the words are so very true it brought me back to reality and made me realise that this will happen as long as I am a Christian, because Satan does not like it. I must admit that the past few weeks my faith has been slightly off course, I dare say it has been non-existent, not only that but also that I have had the cheek to question God and his plan for my life.

I have been going through things that have not been great, at work and at home. I have had to make some tough decisions, whether they were the right ones I don’t know but I trust that God has directed me in the path that he wants me to go.

And in the weeks ahead there will be even more tough decisions to make. But hey they say what doesn’t kill you does make you stronger.

Here is a copy of the email and I am sure you will agree that all of us at some point in our lives have felt like this.

This is simply put, but so profound!

Once upon a time, a serpent chased a firefly.

The latter fled rapidly, afraid of the ferocious predator, but the serpent didn’t even think about giving up.

The firefly fled one day and the serpent didn’t give up; two days, and

nothing.*

*

On the third day, now clearly weakened, the firefly stopped and asked the

serpent:* *

Can I ask you three questions?*

*

I don’t usually proceed this way with anyone, but since I’m going to devour you anyway, you may ask**.*

*

Am I part of your food chain?* *

No.*

*

Did I harm you in any way?* *

No.*

*

So then, why do you want to finish me off?* * Because I can’t stand to see you shine.*

*

Many times, we don’t understand the reason for persecution, anger, lies, slander, why they make up stories about us, etc. . .

But here is one of the reasons:*

*They simply can’t stand to see you shine!!*

** **IN THIS NEW YEAR MAKE SURE U SHINE… LIKE NEVER BEFORE…****

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Good Days and Bad Days


Well I haven’t been posting as regularly as I would like to but the past few days or should I say weeks have been hard for me.

 

I have been trying my best to fight these feelings but it is not easy. The last few weeks I have been on such an emotional roller-coaster, and right now I am struggling to think positively. I have had issues with family members, one that is suicidal due to financial problems, and as a result I am getting myself into financial trouble because I am just so scared of what might happen if someone does not help. Then there is another family member that is in the position to help but refuses to.

 

I know this might seem like I am whining and complaining but I need to let it out somehow, and at this point in time there is no one in my family that I can speak to, it’s almost as if we are at war with each other, because we don’t see eye to eye.

 

If I could explain how I feel so that you could understand the best thing I could use would be a rubber band stretched to its limit, and if it gets stretched any more then it will snap.

 

I feel almost as if I am falling further and further into this big hole and soon I will not be able to get out, don’t get me wrong I am praying and reading my bible, but nothing seems to change. I keep asking myself the question, is this God that is testing my faith perhaps? Or is this satan attacking me knowing exactly where my weaknesses are and feeding off of them. I just don’t know.

 

Whatever the answer to that question, my love for the Lord does not change, I know that he is here with me and that if he weren’t maybe things would be 10 times worse. One thing I know for sure I MUST KEEP the faith that things will improve, without God I cannot go on, this might seem like a contradiction to some people, but here is something for those of you that see it that way, I am human and also struggle with emotions, doubts and fears. Just because I choose to put my faith in God does not make it any easier. I dare say that it becomes even more difficult for us because we now have the devil trying to make us fall.

 

It is very easy to fall and think things that are not of Christ because our whole lives we have been conditioned into that way of thinking but when we submit to the Lord and strive to become like him it takes HARD work, determination, effort and above all else FAITH, to be able to stay on the narrow path.

There are many out there that are facing the same things I am, just know that you MUST keep the faith, God will never let you go through trials more than what you are able to overcome.

 

Just writing this post has made me feel slightly better actually. I don’t know about you but I find blogging to be quite therapeutic.

Genuine Blog Award


I would like to thank http://nadiesbrain.wordpress.com/ for nominating me for the Genuine Blogger Award, I feel truly blessed to be receiving all these awards as it means that I am making an impact in others lives. There are no specific rules for this award so you can nominate as few or as many people as you like. For this one i will nominate the following blogs

 

http://mylordisjesus.wordpress.com/

http://allthingsbeautifull.wordpress.com/

http://lionslead.wordpress.com/

http://byhisgrace211.wordpress.com/

 

 

Here are my nominations and of course I would nominate Sherline again if I could! Thanks!!

The Dry Season…


Someone emailed this story to me, whether it is true or not i am not sure but that is not the reason that I am posting it, I read this story and it brought tears to my eyes, and has a message for everyone if we just take the time to listen.

 

God Bless …

 

NOW THAT’S GOD

It was one of the hottest days of the dry season. We had not seen rain in almost a month. The crops were dying. Cows had stopped giving milk. The creeks and streams were long gone back into the earth. It was a dry season that would bankrupt several farmers before it was through.
Every day, my husband and his brothers would go about the arduous process of trying to get water to the fields. Lately this process had involved taking a truck to the local water rendering plant and filling it up with water. But severe rationing had cut everyone off. If we
Didn’t see some rain soon…we would lose everything. It was on this day that I learned the true lesson of sharing and witnessed the only miracle I have seen with my own eyes. I was in the kitchen making lunch for my husband and his brothers when I saw my
Six-year-old son, Billy, walking toward the woods. He wasn’t walking with the usual carefree abandon of a youth but with a serious purpose. I could only see his back. He was obviously walking with a great effort … trying to be as still as possible. Minutes after he disappeared into the woods, he came running out again, toward the house. I went back to making sandwiches; thinking that whatever task he had been doing was completed. Moments later, however, he was once again walking in that slow purposeful stride toward the woods. This activity went on for an hour: walking carefully to the woods, running back to the house.

Finally I couldn’t take it any longer and I crept out of the house and followed him on his journey (being very careful not to be seen…as he was obviously doing important work and didn’t need his Mommy checking up on him). He was cupping both hands in front of him as he walked, being very careful not to spill the water he held in them … maybe two or three tablespoons were held in his tiny hands. I sneaked close as he went into the woods. Branches and thorns slapped his little face, but he did not try to avoid them. He had a much higher purpose. As I leaned in to spy on him, I saw the most amazing site.

Several large deer loomed in front of him. Billy walked right up to them. I almost screamed for him to get away. A huge buck with elaborate antlers was dangerously close. But the buck did not threaten him…he didn’t even move as Billy knelt down. And I saw a tiny fawn lying on the ground; obviously suffering from dehydration and heat exhaustion, lift its head with great effort to lap up the water cupped in my beautiful boy’s hand. When the water was gone, Billy jumped up to run back to the house and I hid behind a tree.
I followed him back to the house to a spigot to which we had shut off the water. Billy opened it all the way up and a small trickle began to creep out. He knelt there, letting the drip, drip slowly fill up his makeshift “cup,” as the sun beat down on his little back. And it came clear to me: The trouble he had gotten into for playing with the hose the week before. The lecture he had received about the importance of not wasting water. The reason he didn’t ask me to help him. It took almost twenty minutes for the drops to fill his hands. When he stood up and began the trek back, I was there in front of him.

His little eyes just filled with tears. “I’m not wasting,” was all he said. As he began his walk, I joined him…with a small pot of water from the kitchen. I let him tend to the fawn. I stayed away. It was his job. I stood on the edge of the woods watching the most beautiful heart I have ever known working so hard to save another life. As the tears that rolled down my face began to hit the ground, other drops…and more drops…and more suddenly joined them. I looked up at the sky. It was as if God, himself, was weeping with pride.
Some will probably say that this was all just a huge coincidence. Those miracles don’t really exist. That it was bound to rain sometime. And I can’t argue with that… I’m not going to try. All I can say is that the rain that came that day saved our farm…just like the actions of one little boy saved another.
I don’t know if anyone will read this…but I had to send it out. To honor the memory of my beautiful Billy, who was taken from me much too soon… But not before showing me the true face of God, in a little, sunburned body.

Looking Back


I was having a discussion with a friend yesterday; about Christianity and when we gave our lives to the Lord Etc. You see the thing is I have been a “Christian” all my life, but it is only NOW in the past few months that I have had that “TOTAL CONVERSION” so to speak. What I mean by that is that I am now at that point where God takes precedence over EVERYTHING in my life. My friend said the same thing, he has been a Christian his whole life but he too had a time in his life where he had that same “TOTAL CONVERSION” which was a few years ago.

 

In my previous post I mentioned that I had come across certain areas in my life where I still wanted to have control and not hand over the reins to God, and that is true. Then I started to think to myself how I could claim to have had this TOTAL CONVERSION, if I didn’t surrender ALL of me to the Lord. My friends and other bloggers all made the same point that we will struggle with this till the day we die. In fact 1 friend told me that he discovers things every day that he needs to hand over to God.

 

So the more I think about it the more I realise that like my friend said there will be MANY more times like this in my life that I have not handed over the control to God. The main thing is that I am aware of it and know that God is working in me, because he is bringing these things to my attention, telling me “let me have that part of your life…”

 

Like my friend said in a year from now I am going to look back and I am going to see how I have grown. The thing is I am doing that now already. I am looking back only as far back as when I started this Blog, and I have Grown SO MUCH and learnt so much. It’s amazing. God has been with me every step of the way, guiding every step I took.  

 

Today I stand in amazement at how far I have come, I never once thought I would be able to let go of past hurts and experiences, but I have. I cannot remember how I coped without God, I can’t remember my life without him, I remember the big events in my life but small things seem so distant. The big things whether good or bad I see now that they were there for me for the purpose of making me stronger. Many times I have asked God “where were you when…..? Why did you let that happen…..? Etc. looking back God was there he always was. I chose to shut him out, but he remained by my side throughout my life and for that I am grateful.  So every experience in my life was a part of who I am today and made me the person I am today. Had I not been through all of that, would I be sitting here and looking back at how I have grown??? I don’t thinks so.

 

So when you think God has left your side, think again HE IS THERE, HE IS ALWAYS THERE!!!!

 

 Deuteronomy 31:6 – “Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the Lord your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.”

 

 

Joshua 1:5 – No man shall be able to stand before you all the days of your life; as I was with Moses, so I will be with you. I will not leave you nor forsake you.

 

 

1 Chronicles 28:20 -And David said to his son Solomon, “Be strong and of good courage, and do it; do not fear nor be dismayed, for the Lord God-my God-will be with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you, until you have finished all the work for the service of the house of the Lord.

Jesus Take the Wheel


Jesus Take the wheel.

A friend of mine told me long time ago about the song Jesus Take the Wheel by Carrie Underwood, I have to date never listened to this song, however the title of the song keeps popping into my mind the whole day. So while I type I am busy downloading the song so that I can listen to it.  It is strange really how a song that I have never heard is constantly on my mind today, but I know that it is God speaking to me and this time I am not going to doubt that this is from him. Right now as I sit here and type this I know God is telling me to let him take over the driver’s seat, and I am ashamed to say this but it is something that I have realised, while I say I have surrendered my life to the Lord there are still certain aspects to it that I have not relinquished the control to God.

 

While this whole time I have thought that I have completely surrendered my life to God, I have come to realise that I have in fact not done so. This thought brings tears to my eyes. That I still despite my efforts not completely trusted the one who created me and the one that knows best.

 

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.” Proverbs 3:5-6

 

Honestly it’s not easy when your all you have done is put your trust people and then being let down, so now having to put your trust in something that you cannot see is easier said than done. While I know that God exists he has proved that to me OVER and OVER in the past months in fact in the past week he has confirmed that so many times, sometimes his presence was so obvious that I got shivers down my spine. Why then is it so hard to surrender ALL my life to him. Why it is SO to give up the control when giving up that control is what is best for my life.

 

So this is no ordinary post today, this is me admitting my weakness and asking for your prayers. I want God to have FULL control not partial control. ONLY then will my life be what it is meant to be.

 

“Blessed are all those who put their trust in Him.” Psalm 2:12

 

So Jesus please take this wheel from me that I’m holding onto so tightly, give me the Strength to LET IT GO!!!!

 

Here is the chorus to the song, which I still have not listened to. But the lyrics alone are powerful.

 

Jesus take the wheel

Take it from my hands

Cause I can’t do this on my own

I’m letting go

So give me one more chance

Save me from this road I’m on

 

“I will love You, O Lord, my strength.

The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer;

My God, my strength, in whom I will trust;

My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.

 I will call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised;

So shall I be saved from my enemies?” Psalm 18:1-3

 

Jesus Take the Wheel – Carrie Underwood.

 

She was driving last Friday on her way to Cincinnati

On a snow white Christmas Eve

Going home to see her Mama and her Daddy with the baby in the backseat

Fifty miles to go and she was running low on faith and gasoline

It’d been a long hard year

She had a lot on her mind and she didn’t pay attention

she was going way too fast

Before she knew it she was spinning on a thin black sheet of glass

She saw both their lives flash before her eyes

She didn’t even have time to cry

She was sooo scared

She threw her hands up in the air

 

Jesus take the wheel

Take it from my hands

Cause I can’t do this on my own

I’m letting go

So give me one more chance

Save me from this road I’m on

Jesus take the wheel

 

It was still getting colder when she made it to the shoulder

And the car came to a stop

She cried when she saw that baby in the backseat sleeping like a rock

And for the first time in a long time

She bowed her head to pray

She said I’m sorry for the way

I’ve been living my life

I know I’ve got to change

So from now on tonight

 

Jesus take the wheel

Take it from my hands

Cause I can’t do this on my own

I’m letting go

So give me one more chance

Save me from this road I’m on

 

Ooh, Jesus take the wheel

Ooh, I’m letting go

So give me one more chance

Save me from this road I’m on

From this road I’m on

Jesus take the wheel

Ooh, take it, take it from me

Ooh ooh wah ah ooh ooh ooh

God’s Apple or Bad Apples?


Hello Bloggers,

I must admit the past few days I have struggled with words; I was actually so worried that I had run out of topics to blog about. Anyway today at work something happened that got me thinking, about marriage and settling down etc. Just hear me out I have not decided that I want to get married or anything like that it was just today’s occurrences that got me thinking.

We have a lady at work who has not been working there for a very long time however she has that type of personality that everyone gets along with her, she came to speak to myself and a colleague today, now I have NO idea how we got onto this topic but she had asked my colleague if he was single, he confirmed that he had been single for almost a year, so she said he needs to get out more and meet people etc. You know the usual that people say when they come across a “single” person like as if it is a terrible thing to be single. Then she went on to saying that she will find him someone …LOL, he then told her that he does get out and meet people (women) through friends etc but they are not his type meaning they are not right for him, maybe they drink too much and he hardly drinks etc. Once again she said she would find him someone.

Then she asked me, and I said the same thing and she basically told me the same thing that she will try and find me someone with the same interests as me.

Now at this point I was intrigued by this whole topic so brought up the question why is it she thinks she needs to help us find “Love” so to speak, we pretty capable of doing that ourselves too. The thing is when you are single people seem to make assumptions that either there is something wrong with you or perhaps you not working hard enough at finding someone… never once do they say oh ok you single because that’s what you want.

I have just turned 31, and I am single and quite frankly that does not bother me in the slightest, although I am being harassed by my family “when you getting married?” “When will you settle down?” You are not getting any younger you know! Etc. You see I dated a few guys and none of them were right, I have suffered rejection like most people have so I made the decision that I was no longer going to rush into something i.e. a relationship just for the sake of being in one. Let me try to put it more plainly, if you buy a bag of apples and the WHOLE bag except 1 apple is rotten, what are you going to do? Are you going to eat all those rotten apples and then eat the apple that’s the best… or will you just eat the good apple, think about it I know that is a bit of a silly comparison but it’s true, I am not going to go through all the bad apples first and THEN eat the good one, just the same as I am not going to go into a relationship if I do not feel that its right.  

I firmly believe that God has big plans for me for all of us, and when the time is right, it will be according to his plan for my life whether that is now, a year from now, or 10 years from now it does not matter, and people need to accept that, not all of us are dependent on having a significant other. Oh and I have seen that before where people are so dependant of another person that they are too scared to end abusive relationships because they are TOO afraid of being alone… but in reality being alone is not the problem.

The problem is who you are depending on, don’t depend on other people depend on God, and allow Him to fulfil His plan for your life only then will you KNOW when something is right. The way I see it is God did not create for us each 20 soul mates we each have 1 and why should I continue to waste my time on something that is going nowhere?

Genesis 2:24 – For this reason a man will leave his mother and father and be united to his wife, and they will become 1 flesh.

So there you have it it’s obvious, it does not say that 10 men will leave their parents to marry the same wife, or vice versa it says A MAN (meaning 1 man) will leave his mother and father and be united with his wife.

Matthew 19:6 – So they are no longer two, but one, therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.

Here it says they are no longer 2 but 1 not 5 but 1. So I no longer will waste my time being in a relationship “just because” that is what is acceptable in society or because that is what people want from me, it’s not what other people want that matters to me it’s WHAT GOD wants that matters.

Yes everyone likes having that other person around, to share things with, someone that is not family but also not just a friend, I will be the first to admit that it IS nice having someone around, but when you sit and think about it, does that relationship have any MEANING at all when it is not what God wants, is it still so nice when at the end of the day you are headed for a dead end street, no its not because someone always gets hurt.

Spending your life with someone is a HUGE commitment, not one to be taken lightly either. A friend wrote a blog some time ago about marriage and that if you get married you need to be a warrior as it is a commitment that is made between 2 people and you can’t just up and leave when things get tough which is what so many married and unmarried couples do today, that is why it is SO important that you make the right choices in life, here is a link to his post go and take a read.

Lions Lead – “For Better or Worse… Really? Hope you all enjoyed this post as much as I have.

God Bless

Time For Change


Ok so it’s a New Year and along with the New Year I have decided to make certain changes in my life. Today has been a strange day, while it should have been a good day for me it was slightly off… all the things that have been bothering me the past few months or so just flooded to the surface I don’t know if it was just because it’s a new year or because I am now older and things need to change I don’t know, and NO I am not having a midlife crisis lol im NOT THAT OLD HA HA

 For those that know me, know that I find it extremely difficult to say NO, if someone asks for help whatever it may be I always seem to say yes, and everyone seems to come to me, because they know I am sure to help, while that is my aim to help others in need, now this is where I struggle with this matter, we are supposed to help people in need, but must we still help when the help borders on use and abuse, go to Bernadette she WILL DEFINATELY help you…? Do I have the right to say no then? You see I have this problem with certain people, and while they help me a lot as well I feel like I am being taken advantage of because they have a certain attitude of you owe me so you must do this for me… keep mentioning I did this and this and that for you so you must help me with this favour. Not taking into consideration how many little favours I do which all add up, sometimes more often than not I have to cancel my plans and drop everything because generally these favours are required of me at the last minute. 

Then there is the issue of my Mother, while my mother herself is not the issue, the issue involves her. You see I look after my mother, and I do it with the greatest of pleasure, although sometimes it is a struggle, as I do not earn a lot of money. While my brother helps me where he can, my sister does very little, please do not get me wrong here, I am not trying to name and shame anyone nor am I purposely airing our dirty laundry as they say but this has bothered me for some time and I do not know how to handle it. I have approached my sister about this before but have had no success, I am not asking for hand out just merely for her to take some responsibility as well. While I understand her reason for not doing more, I just feel that it’s a bit unfair that I am left to do it by myself. She believes that my mother lived her life made her mistakes and why must she suffer for it ok I understand SOME of her reasoning but not all of it. It really is a struggle for me honestly my brother has helped me so much even though he himself is struggling, whereas my sister has no financial problems at the moment. That is what bothers me the most, is that while she can help she does not, and I must admit it is causing a bit of resentment. I do not want to start 2012 off like this but I do not know quite how to deal with this issue without making the problem worse, the last thing I want is to cause a rift between my sister and I, as despite our issues I love her very much and do not want to have a strained relationship. (So here is where the peacemaker / people pleaser in me comes out and says well then this is best left unsaid and buried under the carpet)

I was sitting at my laptop and thinking if the things that needed to change and realised that the 2 problems above are 2 BIG issues in my life and I feel it is holding me back, while another issue is financial, it really is a struggle every month so tonight I decided to update my CV (resume) and apply for other jobs, jobs that paid more than what I was earning. I applied for one position and suddenly I felt this uneasiness come over me, it’s like when people say trust your gut, it was that kind of feeling that something was just not right, I chatted to my friend about it, he told me that I should listen and not look for another Job right now, God is clearly trying to tell me that the time is not right. Which led me to the question WHY? Why is the time not right, why have I been put in these situations, etc etc. My friend then told me that everything happens for a reason, God has a bigger plan for me and that me wanting to find another Job is not part of his plan right now. My friend is right; however it is still not easy. I have prayed about my financial situation before and things just do not seem to change, while I trust God and his plan, I just wonder sometimes wonder when things will change. While here it may seem to you that I have no faith that things will change, I prayed about it and continue to thank God for it. Maybe I am not doing it right I have no clue.

I will continue to pray and trust God and His timing, as well as some clarity on why finding another Job that will pay more not the right thing for me.

While some of you might think that I am complaining I really am not, this is something that has really been bothering me and I needed to get it out somehow, bottling it up is just making it worse.

So… sorry to those that have read this and did not enjoy reading it but this blog is after all my Journey and the struggles I face are part of the same Journey.

If anyone is facing a similar situation please feel free to leave a comment. I would love to know how others deal with these things.

 God Bless all.

My 2012 Commitments….no NOT resolutions.


Ok so my last post was about 2011 being the best year of my life, now let’s do 2012, I am not one to make resolutions as I never seem to keep to them, in the years past I have found that I set unbelievably high goals for myself and unrealistic resolutions. This year I have decided that, I will not set any resolutions, NOT ONE. I will however make certain commitments to God and to myself, and I will take it 1 day at a time.

1st the MOST important commitment I make is to be a vessel of God’s light and allowing him to shine through me, through my attitude, my deeds, my words I want people to see a change in me, I want them to see how Great God is.

Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven (Matthew 5:16).

The night is far spent, the day is at hand. Therefore let us cast off the works of darkness, and let us put on the armour of light. (Romans 13:12)

2nd I commit to reading my bible even if it’s for 5 minutes a day but EVERY day.

3rd I commit to scripture memory; a Christian will not always have their bible handy when in “sticky” situations so being able to refer to them at any given moment is an amazing ability.

4th I commit to improving my prayer life, and spending more quiet time with God.

5thI commit to fasting, whether it be 3 days, 10 days, 21 days whatever it is, I will make this an important part of my life and will do it periodically.

6th I commit to a healthier lifestyle, eating healthier meals, drinking more water etc, start walking… while I don’t drink much alcohol anymore I do have the occasional drink, I want this to stop COMPLETELY I do not want to drink.

7th I commit to being more involved in the church whether it be volunteering as an usher or handing out pamphlets at the door whatever it is I will become more involved

8th I commit to joining a home group in my area, and meeting new people, making new Christian friends that I can encourage and also be encouraged by.

9th I commit to helping the needy wherever I can, feeding the homeless on Christmas day was an amazing experience and I commit to doing it more often not only once a year.

10th I commit to reducing the time I spend watching TV and to use that extra time to speak to God.

11th I commit to standing up for myself and to not let people walk all over me and abuse me just because I do not know how to say NO.

12th I commit to saturate my everyday life with God, whether it be reading Christian books, listening to Christian CD’s, pasting scriptures and verses all over my house, I want my life to be a constant reminder to me that I am a Christian and that I live for Jesus.

 

Yes so I have 12 “commitments” there are 12 months in a year so 12 commitments is an ok amount I would say. And NO I will not tackle 1 commitment a month they will all be tackled on a daily basis. And by the end of 2012 and beginning of 2013 I will be EVEN more amazed at my transformation through Jesus as what I am right now.

 

 

 

2011… was it the worst or best year of my life?


Well 2011 was a very difficult year for me, I wanted it to end, that clock could not have struck 12 any sooner than what it had, everyone was counting down for the new year to begin I was counting down for the old one to end, or so I thought.

Then I sat and thought about everything that has happened and thought that maybe JUST maybe 2011 was the best year yet.

I met some amazing people, had some good laughs, memories that I will cherish forever. I had to face a lot of hard truths about me and the path I was on. I lost a family member someone who I loved dearly; family secrets were revealed that shook me to the core. I had been through a rejection by someone I cared for dearly, but yet through all that today our relationship is stronger than ever and we have remained friends through it, in fact I am a stronger woman today because of him.

I suffered from severe depression, I didn’t want to live or SO I THOUGHT, but looking back at the past couple of months it was never a depression it was an emptiness something was missing in my life something that was meant to be there but just was not. Somewhere along my life Journey I lost Jesus, but 2011 was the year that I found him, the emptiness is Gone AND THAT WAS THE BEST PART OF 2011, what was missing in my life is now present, not only did I find Jesus I also found myself, the person that was buried under all the pain and heartache, the person that was consumed by her struggle.

I have made some amazing friends, some whom I have grown to depend on some who have been an inspiration.  So I would like to mention some friends and family here, just to say thank you for making my 2011 great.

Firstly to Gigi (you know who you are), the friend that convinced me to write about my feelings, the whole reason I started this blog, you have been a pillar of strength to me in so many ways even though you are so far away, the times we shared when we lived together and worked together I will cherish forever, the jokes we made the laughs we had are a part of y memory and can never be erased. I LOVE YOU FRIEND, DEARLY. I can’t wait for the day when I will get so see you again, I can like to think I will pee in my JEAN PANT hahahahah ok so friend I can’t get the accent through to you on this blog but I am sure you can picture me saying it and I bet you right now you are REALLY just about to pee in your jean pant with laughter.

Then I want to thank my mother for Just being there, and doing the best she could with what she had, I Love YOU.

To my brother for being my support system month after month even though you too are struggling.

To my sister for believing in me when others sometimes didn’t.

Ok so for the sake of anonymity once again thank you to Frikkie hee hee… I complain a lot I know, and you have been the one at work that has just sat there listening to me all day long, goodness knows how annoying I must be sometimes, thank you for being someone I could talk to about work, issues, and about God, thank you for being a key player in me finding the thing that was missing in my life. Thank you to Lourens, too for putting up with my constant BBM messages asking about things that I do not understand regarding Christianity or things that I just need clarity on, thank you both for being so transparent in your love for Jesus, it was that transparency that made me want more in my life. You both are such an inspiration to me Thank you.

Thank you to Michele, even though we have never met, in the past 2 months we have become close via this blog and been an inspiration to each other, I feel a real connection to you and that connection is Jesus, I see you as a sister in Christ. Who knows maybe one day I will get to meet my new friend.

To John, also one of my new blogging friends, both you and your blog have been an inspiration, for me and I look forward to reading your blog every time I see a new post, your testimony is one that can greatly help others that are now where you have already been in your life, it was through your blog that God gave me the confirmation that I needed to do what needs to be done.

When I started this blog I never thought for one moment that I would get to interact with so many people and it is amazing, this blog has been a huge healing process for me and I never thought I would ever say this but I have discovered a new passion, and that is this blog, writing these posts have been an unbelievable healing process for me.

So to all of you who have influenced my life THANK you I pray that 2012 will be an amazing year for all of you.

ABOVE ALL, thank you Lord for filling this gap in my life, and making me the strong Woman I am today, and it just keeps getting better.

Isaiah 43:18-19 – “Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.

So in answering my posts title/question 2011 was by far the best year yet, bring on 2012 it can only get better.