When I started out with my first blog, my intention was for it to be a diary so to speak, I mean I could remain anonymous and at the same time possibly get some very useful feedback. When I started this journey I suffered from depression, some days it was bad some days not. But after my first post, my reason for blogging changed, it is like God used this as his window of opportunity to REALLY speak to me, you see, for those of you who have followed my blog right from the beginnings will know that the 1st blog which I have now made private was about my life and the things that have happened, however now my blog posts are God focussed which I feel is really cool.
Why I say that God used this as his window of opportunity is because I have become excited about blogging, I would even say addicted, and he knew this, so I figure he placed it on my heart that this was going to be no online diary but instead a blog about Jesus and how he is changing me every day and how my faith grows and strengthens every day. How my relationship grows and strengthens every day.
While I sometimes do some research on my blog many times I just type not realising what I am saying until I read it, there are even some posts where I sit and type and it’s like I am not conscious of anything at that moment and that my fingers are just hitting the keyboard and once they done then I become aware of what I wrote.
I would like to think that it is God who is speaking through me; you see the blogging has definitely helped e to stay on track with Jesus. I feel that the blogging has definitely been a key instrument in my relationship with the Lord and also with the strengthening thereof. So now it’s not an online diary but instead a Jesus Blog.
I never considered myself to be a writer, in fact I still don’t because I write a blog and I do on average a post a day doesn’t make me a writer, so to speak, but what I have noticed is that I have become passionate about something, I have become passionate about my blog, not only because it has been a tremendous healing process for me but I get to learn more about Jesus, not only by MY blog posts but others as well, and my prayer is now that when people read my posts that a seed will be buried deep in their heart somewhere and that seed is called Jesus, this seed will grow and grow until there is no denying who he is and they are compelled to accept him, because they feel his presence by the seed that was planted by reading my blog, the thought that even just ONE person could turn to Jesus through my blog makes me extremely happy and excited.
I found this scripture in the bible while I was reading this morning, and I had already had this topic in mind for my next post and came across this scripture and thought that here is another really cool topic to write about but then which one would I do today so I had decided to keep that topic till tomorrow, now once again I do not know if this is God speaking to me or not but I will assume that it is, I had this thought pop into me head and it was that I could combine the 2, I can use this scripture to coincide with the reason why I blog, so here it is.
2 Timothy 2: 1-7(The Message) – So my son (in my case daughter) throw yourself into this work for Christ, pass on what you heard from me – the whole congregation saying Amen! – To reliable leaders who are competent to teach others. When the going gets rough take it on the chin with the rest of us, the way Jesus did, a soldier on duty does not get caught up in making deals at the market place. He concentrates on carrying out orders. An athlete who refuses to play by the rules will never get anywhere. It is the diligent farmer who gets the produce. Think it over, God will make it plain.
Now my other topic would have been once again about the calling, and the work you need to do for God, I mean he has put us here for a reason, I have had this desire in my heart to feed the homeless, while I myself do not have a lot of money I am going to obey him, it must be him because previously I never wanted to do this. And I thought the scripture above ties in perfectly with that, whether feeding poor people is part of my calling or not I can still do it as it will be pleasing to God, now whether me blogging for Jesus is part of my calling or not I will continue to do it because I am sure it is pleasing to him, considering there might be unsaved people who will read it.
So as the scripture says: “throw yourselves into this work for Christ” I am going to throw myself into this blog and feeding the homeless, and whatever else I can come across that will be pleasing to God, and out of all of those 1 of them is bound to be my true calling and God, in due time will reveal that to me.
So this is why I Blog. Why do you blog?
Anyway have a blessed Sunday everyone I need to get ready for church.
I have recently started reading a book called “walking in your own shoes” by Robert A. Schuller; I have only just finished reading the dedication, forward, acknowledgments introduction and the first chapter of the book and I must say I think I am going to enjoy this book.
After reading the first chapter I felt the need to do this post, now the thing is that I haven’t gotten to that point where I can fully discern when it is that I am hearing from God or when it is Random thoughts popping into my head, nevertheless I will get there eventually where I am able to tell the difference.
I started house sitting last from last night, I quite enjoy it because I get away for a couple of weeks from my everyday life, those mundane routines and tasks that need to get done every day. Sometime throughout the course of the day yesterday I made the conscious decision that while I was in this house looking after it for the owners I would not switch on the TV, that I would take this time alone to delve a little further into the word of God and to try and strengthen my relationship with him some more, then when I got here I did what I normally do when I get home, kicked off my shoes put the kettle on for coffee, tea or whatever it is at that point that tickles my fancy… then to pick up the TV remote switch it on watch my favourite soapie “7 de Laan” for those of you who do not reside in south Africa 7 de Laan is one of our local TV shows. Anyway last night when I went for the remote I suddenly got this thought in my head, it was quite funny actually it was like someone was telling me “no no no put that remote down … remember the promise you made… step away from the remote”. Well I put the remote down and drank my coffee then decided to pick the remote up again and switch on the TV but then again as I picked it up… that same thought popped into my head again, so I decided to switch my laptop on, I started off my reading a few of the blogs I follow, but then I felt the need to do the post before this one.
Let me just tell you one thing, I have never been so honest about anything in my entire life, not even to myself, it took a lot out of me, I felt emotionally spent after writing that post. But glad I did. I felt a sense of release.
So this evening as I sit here and write the post I have a small prayer request, I want to walk in my shoes not someone else’s but mine. So let me tell you a bit about my current situation. Hopefully God will either give me some sort of confirmation or he will give someone reading this post something, some word or scripture or message or something.
I currently work for a company and have been with them for almost a year and a half now, I don’t earn a big salary in fact for the past couple of months things have been really tight, and while the company itself is not the greatest company to work for or the Job I have is not FANTASTIC, some of the people there are amazing people, so let me tell you a bit about them, to my left at the door, is one of the newbie’s… well not necessarily new but he has been there the least amount of time, he also happens to be the youngest, he is the funny one, the one that puts a smile on our faces on a daily basis, when he is stressed out or busy he has his earphones in his ears and listens to music, and says ok time to “Zone” , then at the desk next to me on my left is the “queen in our department” yes I mean the gay one… sometimes he can make you laugh with his antics but sometimes he can also make you angry, he flirts with all the guys and honestly half of them flirt back, but we all know that they are joking and there is no truth to the flirting so to speak, then there is the lady that sits opposite him, she happens to be my bosses sister, while at the best of times we do not get along there are other times where we can have a good conversation, then there is my Boss, in the beginning we got on like a house on fire, but then realised what you see is not what you get, so I distanced myself a bit and stuck to just doing my work, since then I have decided to put all that aside and change the way I thought of her, and we actually get on very well, then there is her Boss who happens to be one of the head honchos so to speak, you would think that all the money he has that it would go to his head but it hasn’t, and I have the utmost respect for him, he truly is one of the coolest bosses I know.
Then as they say save the best for last… J, then there is the man that sits opposite me, I have so much respect for him, he like me has given his life to the Lord, he is a great example and a really good hearted person. He was a key player in me giving my life back to Jesus, he has helped me by speaking of his past experiences, giving me books to read and DVD’s to watch, given me scriptures to read, heck he even bought me a bible, more than anything he has just been someone I could speak to, not everyone understands what it’s like to be a Christian, and it was nice being able to speak with someone who has similar beliefs about Christianity as me. The Lord has amazing things in store for him I just know it, and I don’t consider him a co-worker but instead a friend.
So there you have it, those are my co-workers, while there are many more these guys are the ones I call my work family, we truly are that, when one of us is down the others will all go out of their way to make them feel better, in their own little way they all add value to our little family, the one that makes us laugh, the one that always has medicine for the sick ones J, pain pills he has, flu meds he has, nausea meds he has, not because he is addicted to it but because he likes to be prepared, and let me tell you those meds have come in handy many times. These people are the reason I am still there, the reason why I have not left this company to find a better paying job.
Then I also have my own business, it is a bridal business which I started almost 2 years ago, it does not make that much money, in fact I have not had an order in a couple of months, but I have had a few good orders, but the business never really took off, even though I spent thousands on this business. I was passionate about it and thought that’s what I was meant to do.
So here is my prayer request, I have a Job that is not great and doesn’t pay well but I have a family there that I have not found at any other company, then there is my business, while I worked hard at it and thought that it was truly what I was meant to be doing, and had every intention of resigning once my business has taken off, I find myself now at a crossroads, you see the more I immerse myself in the word of God the more I strive to be obedient to God the more detached I feel from my business, and feel that I need to close shop so to speak, I need to know what is the right thing in these two areas of my life, do I look for a better paying Job and leave the one I currently have, or do I stay, and do I close my business once and for all or do I continue to work on it and make it work.
I am praying about this but if anyone reading this would like to add to my prayers please feel free to do so, if you have any advice or word from the Lord please share it with me as I am still battling to discern what is from God and what not.
Hope you All have a blessed weekend.
I HAVE to hold God’s hand in everything I do. Without Him by my side I am nothing. The past few weeks have been somewhat strange, the only thing keeping me sane is God and me writing about it. If someone had told me 2 months ago that writing would be a release for me I would have laughed in their faces, every time I feel down or just not myself I used to turn to music, I would lock myself in the room and just turn on the radio.
It’s different now, when I feel something or the lack of feeling I want to write about it. To be able to express what I am feeling in writing is somewhat therapeutic. It helps me analyse, things and look at what areas of my life need to be worked on.
For the past couple of weeks if not months I have been suffering with insomnia, so much so that I have become moody, and withdrawn. So the time I spend awake I try to focus on the Lord and not the hundreds of problems and issues that need my attention during the day. If I am honest with myself I am not doing everything I can to strengthen my relationship with the Lord.
All I know is that I feel this strong desire in my life, a desire to do more. I cannot do it without God, I need him to take my hand and guide me, I cannot do it alone. I so badly want to do more but I don’t know what, yes I have brought up the calling of God in one of my previous posts, and the thought of being able to do more for the Lord makes me so excited, but the thought of not knowing makes me cry. I know I need to be patient in God’s timing, so for now I just have to seek Him and trust that He will reveal to me soon enough what He wants me to do.
I know I need to spend more quiet time with the Lord, for me it’s not easy. I am always surrounded by people. At this point in my life I just want to be ALONE! I don’t want to be around any people not even friends and family. I want to be able to open my Bible and be able to just read it and take in His Word, with no interruptions.
I know for most people to have quite time alone is also not easy, so if there is anyone that reads this and you are in the same situation, HOW and WHERE do you spend time with the Lord. I almost feel like I am suffering from withdrawal symptoms, God has put a strong desire in my heart to fellowship with Him, and I am I just feel that it is not enough I want to DO MORE, want to serve HIM MORE.
GOD TAKE MY HAND, I CANNOT DO IT ALONE.
I firmly believe we have all been put here for a reason, God did not just create us to eat the forbidden fruit, and get on with our sinful lives, and completely disregard everything Hestands for and everything He is!
So why are we here? Why did He create me? And why did He create YOU!!! Have you asked yourself that recently? I ask myself that question ALL the time, even this morning I asked myself what is my purpose in life, so that’s why this blog is about God’s calling on my life.
I have yet to figure this one out, but it is now my mission to do so. I don’t have a clue what He wants me to do, but I know deep down He wants to use me in some way or other. I surrender myself to Him right now and believe that whatever He wants I will find out soon enough.
I am sure He has told me before, but I just have not been listening to Him. I intend to make more of an effort in my life to listen to Him and hear Him when He speaks.
He is ever present in our lives, in everything we see He is there we just don’t realise it. We take HIM for granted. When last have you gone outside and taken a good look outside?? Like really looked at your surroundings?? Do yourself a favour and go outside today, look at the grass for instance who else BUT GOD could have created every blade of grass to perfection? Look at the flowers the many different kinds, He created every flower to be unique and a masterpiece, look at the details of the flowers, can you make that?…. sure you can but it will be synthetic and fake… is that the same as God’s creation NO its not. He put us on this earth with all these things to enjoy. My question is how do I SAY thank you GOD, how do I show Him MY gratitude for all this? I think it is to live the life He wants for you the life He had planned for you long before you were even conceived. Your blueprint is with GOD and it is magnificent, All you have to do is listen to Him and hear His voice
I have found some scriptures that are reference to the CALLING of the Lord on your life. The only time you will understand and realize what his purpose for you is to spend time with Him, take the time talk to Him, He wants so badly for all of us to have fellowship with Him and have a relationship with Him where we can turn to Him not only in times of need but in ALL times, whether we happy or sad turn to Him. As a friend told me yesterday when I was feeling a little down…. “HE loves you, you KNOW”. Just those few words brought tears to my eyes.
Romans 11:29: For God’s Gifts and his CALL can never be withdrawn
Ephesians 4:1: Live a life worthy of the calling you have received
Jeremiah 29:11: “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
Jeremiah 29:12-13: “Then when you call upon Me and come and pray to Me, I will hear you. When you search for Me, You will find Me; if you seek Me with all your heart”
Ephesians 2:10: ” For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”
There are so many scriptures that refer to the calling of GOD, let us listen.