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Looking Back


I was having a discussion with a friend yesterday; about Christianity and when we gave our lives to the Lord Etc. You see the thing is I have been a “Christian” all my life, but it is only NOW in the past few months that I have had that “TOTAL CONVERSION” so to speak. What I mean by that is that I am now at that point where God takes precedence over EVERYTHING in my life. My friend said the same thing, he has been a Christian his whole life but he too had a time in his life where he had that same “TOTAL CONVERSION” which was a few years ago.

 

In my previous post I mentioned that I had come across certain areas in my life where I still wanted to have control and not hand over the reins to God, and that is true. Then I started to think to myself how I could claim to have had this TOTAL CONVERSION, if I didn’t surrender ALL of me to the Lord. My friends and other bloggers all made the same point that we will struggle with this till the day we die. In fact 1 friend told me that he discovers things every day that he needs to hand over to God.

 

So the more I think about it the more I realise that like my friend said there will be MANY more times like this in my life that I have not handed over the control to God. The main thing is that I am aware of it and know that God is working in me, because he is bringing these things to my attention, telling me “let me have that part of your life…”

 

Like my friend said in a year from now I am going to look back and I am going to see how I have grown. The thing is I am doing that now already. I am looking back only as far back as when I started this Blog, and I have Grown SO MUCH and learnt so much. It’s amazing. God has been with me every step of the way, guiding every step I took.  

 

Today I stand in amazement at how far I have come, I never once thought I would be able to let go of past hurts and experiences, but I have. I cannot remember how I coped without God, I can’t remember my life without him, I remember the big events in my life but small things seem so distant. The big things whether good or bad I see now that they were there for me for the purpose of making me stronger. Many times I have asked God “where were you when…..? Why did you let that happen…..? Etc. looking back God was there he always was. I chose to shut him out, but he remained by my side throughout my life and for that I am grateful.  So every experience in my life was a part of who I am today and made me the person I am today. Had I not been through all of that, would I be sitting here and looking back at how I have grown??? I don’t thinks so.

 

So when you think God has left your side, think again HE IS THERE, HE IS ALWAYS THERE!!!!

 

 Deuteronomy 31:6 – “Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the Lord your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.”

 

 

Joshua 1:5 – No man shall be able to stand before you all the days of your life; as I was with Moses, so I will be with you. I will not leave you nor forsake you.

 

 

1 Chronicles 28:20 -And David said to his son Solomon, “Be strong and of good courage, and do it; do not fear nor be dismayed, for the Lord God-my God-will be with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you, until you have finished all the work for the service of the house of the Lord.

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Jesus Take the Wheel


Jesus Take the wheel.

A friend of mine told me long time ago about the song Jesus Take the Wheel by Carrie Underwood, I have to date never listened to this song, however the title of the song keeps popping into my mind the whole day. So while I type I am busy downloading the song so that I can listen to it.  It is strange really how a song that I have never heard is constantly on my mind today, but I know that it is God speaking to me and this time I am not going to doubt that this is from him. Right now as I sit here and type this I know God is telling me to let him take over the driver’s seat, and I am ashamed to say this but it is something that I have realised, while I say I have surrendered my life to the Lord there are still certain aspects to it that I have not relinquished the control to God.

 

While this whole time I have thought that I have completely surrendered my life to God, I have come to realise that I have in fact not done so. This thought brings tears to my eyes. That I still despite my efforts not completely trusted the one who created me and the one that knows best.

 

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.” Proverbs 3:5-6

 

Honestly it’s not easy when your all you have done is put your trust people and then being let down, so now having to put your trust in something that you cannot see is easier said than done. While I know that God exists he has proved that to me OVER and OVER in the past months in fact in the past week he has confirmed that so many times, sometimes his presence was so obvious that I got shivers down my spine. Why then is it so hard to surrender ALL my life to him. Why it is SO to give up the control when giving up that control is what is best for my life.

 

So this is no ordinary post today, this is me admitting my weakness and asking for your prayers. I want God to have FULL control not partial control. ONLY then will my life be what it is meant to be.

 

“Blessed are all those who put their trust in Him.” Psalm 2:12

 

So Jesus please take this wheel from me that I’m holding onto so tightly, give me the Strength to LET IT GO!!!!

 

Here is the chorus to the song, which I still have not listened to. But the lyrics alone are powerful.

 

Jesus take the wheel

Take it from my hands

Cause I can’t do this on my own

I’m letting go

So give me one more chance

Save me from this road I’m on

 

“I will love You, O Lord, my strength.

The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer;

My God, my strength, in whom I will trust;

My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.

 I will call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised;

So shall I be saved from my enemies?” Psalm 18:1-3

 

Jesus Take the Wheel – Carrie Underwood.

 

She was driving last Friday on her way to Cincinnati

On a snow white Christmas Eve

Going home to see her Mama and her Daddy with the baby in the backseat

Fifty miles to go and she was running low on faith and gasoline

It’d been a long hard year

She had a lot on her mind and she didn’t pay attention

she was going way too fast

Before she knew it she was spinning on a thin black sheet of glass

She saw both their lives flash before her eyes

She didn’t even have time to cry

She was sooo scared

She threw her hands up in the air

 

Jesus take the wheel

Take it from my hands

Cause I can’t do this on my own

I’m letting go

So give me one more chance

Save me from this road I’m on

Jesus take the wheel

 

It was still getting colder when she made it to the shoulder

And the car came to a stop

She cried when she saw that baby in the backseat sleeping like a rock

And for the first time in a long time

She bowed her head to pray

She said I’m sorry for the way

I’ve been living my life

I know I’ve got to change

So from now on tonight

 

Jesus take the wheel

Take it from my hands

Cause I can’t do this on my own

I’m letting go

So give me one more chance

Save me from this road I’m on

 

Ooh, Jesus take the wheel

Ooh, I’m letting go

So give me one more chance

Save me from this road I’m on

From this road I’m on

Jesus take the wheel

Ooh, take it, take it from me

Ooh ooh wah ah ooh ooh ooh