Looking Back

I was having a discussion with a friend yesterday; about Christianity and when we gave our lives to the Lord Etc. You see the thing is I have been a “Christian” all my life, but it is only NOW in the past few months that I have had that “TOTAL CONVERSION” so to speak. What I mean by that is that I am now at that point where God takes precedence over EVERYTHING in my life. My friend said the same thing, he has been a Christian his whole life but he too had a time in his life where he had that same “TOTAL CONVERSION” which was a few years ago.


In my previous post I mentioned that I had come across certain areas in my life where I still wanted to have control and not hand over the reins to God, and that is true. Then I started to think to myself how I could claim to have had this TOTAL CONVERSION, if I didn’t surrender ALL of me to the Lord. My friends and other bloggers all made the same point that we will struggle with this till the day we die. In fact 1 friend told me that he discovers things every day that he needs to hand over to God.


So the more I think about it the more I realise that like my friend said there will be MANY more times like this in my life that I have not handed over the control to God. The main thing is that I am aware of it and know that God is working in me, because he is bringing these things to my attention, telling me “let me have that part of your life…”


Like my friend said in a year from now I am going to look back and I am going to see how I have grown. The thing is I am doing that now already. I am looking back only as far back as when I started this Blog, and I have Grown SO MUCH and learnt so much. It’s amazing. God has been with me every step of the way, guiding every step I took.  


Today I stand in amazement at how far I have come, I never once thought I would be able to let go of past hurts and experiences, but I have. I cannot remember how I coped without God, I can’t remember my life without him, I remember the big events in my life but small things seem so distant. The big things whether good or bad I see now that they were there for me for the purpose of making me stronger. Many times I have asked God “where were you when…..? Why did you let that happen…..? Etc. looking back God was there he always was. I chose to shut him out, but he remained by my side throughout my life and for that I am grateful.  So every experience in my life was a part of who I am today and made me the person I am today. Had I not been through all of that, would I be sitting here and looking back at how I have grown??? I don’t thinks so.


So when you think God has left your side, think again HE IS THERE, HE IS ALWAYS THERE!!!!


 Deuteronomy 31:6 – “Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the Lord your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.”



Joshua 1:5 – No man shall be able to stand before you all the days of your life; as I was with Moses, so I will be with you. I will not leave you nor forsake you.



1 Chronicles 28:20 -And David said to his son Solomon, “Be strong and of good courage, and do it; do not fear nor be dismayed, for the Lord God-my God-will be with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you, until you have finished all the work for the service of the house of the Lord.


Posted on January 13, 2012, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 20 Comments.

  1. theWomanAtTheWell

    I have heard scripture something to the effect of God Will continue to mold and shape us all the days of our lives, we are not finished masterpieces until we depart from this world. It is a comfort to see as well that I am not the only imperfect soul in this world who is willing to admit their imperfections. Good post my friend, thank you for sharing it. God bless.-watw

    • Thank you so much for your comment, it is the most amazing feeling when you know other people have read something you wrote and enjoyed it or taken something from it.

      it is nice to know there are others out there that are willing to admit their weakneses

  2. I like this post…and yes, God is always there 🙂

  3. This is probably the most amazing post I have read in a REALLY long time. I strive to surrender my life to the Lord and I try, I really do. But, like most things, I have much way to improve. I was raised Catholic but I never “felt” any sort of connection with Jesus until I started attending a nondenominational Christian Church this past summer and it changed my life. I want nothing more than to pursue Jesus and bring him into my everyday – to make him my sole purpose in life. He’s already helped save me from my eating disorder and given me another chance at life both on Earth and in eternity.

    Keep doing what you do, it’s amazing and so inspirational. This is an amazing post.


    • WOW Thank you very much for your lovely words, My aim is the same as yours to make him number 1 in my life. and while i am sure i will find many times where i have not completely surrendered but every day is a step closer to him. I am busy reading a book called purpose driven life by Rick Warren. you should get it, its a brilliant book and one that i am sure will help you along the way

  4. Your story is such an inspiration. 🙂

  5. Bernadette, sweet words, honest reflections. Thanks for sharing.
    If it is not too forward, let me remind you that your journey with Jesus is not so much about your figuring out how to surrender more control to him, but your growing awareness that he really does have you! Jesus likens his followers to sheep; the metaphor is so fitting. Sheep don’t have to figure out how to “let the shepherd by the shepherd.” Sheep just . . . well, they just do sheep stuff! The Shepherd knows. He knows that we are sheep. He is so very faithful and competent to lead us as his sheep. He has never not had “control” of his sheep. And when we wander, stray, or feel alone, we are not out of his watchful care. Yes, we grow in and through the process . . . but it is less about what we “give up” or “give to him” and more about settling in to the greatness of his grace and care. Resting there. This is why Paul can affirm (in his letter to the Philippians) that “he who began a good work in you will perfect it.” You are going to make it! You will continue to grow in this wonderful journey . . . because having made you his precious lamb, he will shepherd you!

  6. 🙂 Congratulations, your blog has been nominated for The Versatile Blogger Award. See my blog at http://237blessed.wordpress.com/ for further details.
    All blessings be confirmed in your life, and the Lord our Father lead you on forever.

  7. I really enjoyed your post. There are so many times in life where you ask where is God, why is he letting this happen, etc. When really God is right there with us. He has a plan, we just don’t know it yet. Thanks 🙂

  8. maryfollowsthelamb

    Another blog entry that has made me think… It’s true that as we grow in our spiritual journey with Christ we we walk closer to Him and it’s amazing when we realize what we are doing. Now, I never thought about it past that point, but your blog entry right now made me do so. Putting God first in our lives is another milestone, but then, taking the focus off from our walk and refocusing on showing others our walk is the next milestone. Submerging our own ego to let Christ shine through us.

    Thank you for your thought provoking post.

  9. HI!!!!! I have nominated you for the Genuine blogger award! I know you are truly a blessing to the world!! congrats

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