God’s Apple or Bad Apples?

Hello Bloggers,

I must admit the past few days I have struggled with words; I was actually so worried that I had run out of topics to blog about. Anyway today at work something happened that got me thinking, about marriage and settling down etc. Just hear me out I have not decided that I want to get married or anything like that it was just today’s occurrences that got me thinking.

We have a lady at work who has not been working there for a very long time however she has that type of personality that everyone gets along with her, she came to speak to myself and a colleague today, now I have NO idea how we got onto this topic but she had asked my colleague if he was single, he confirmed that he had been single for almost a year, so she said he needs to get out more and meet people etc. You know the usual that people say when they come across a “single” person like as if it is a terrible thing to be single. Then she went on to saying that she will find him someone …LOL, he then told her that he does get out and meet people (women) through friends etc but they are not his type meaning they are not right for him, maybe they drink too much and he hardly drinks etc. Once again she said she would find him someone.

Then she asked me, and I said the same thing and she basically told me the same thing that she will try and find me someone with the same interests as me.

Now at this point I was intrigued by this whole topic so brought up the question why is it she thinks she needs to help us find “Love” so to speak, we pretty capable of doing that ourselves too. The thing is when you are single people seem to make assumptions that either there is something wrong with you or perhaps you not working hard enough at finding someone… never once do they say oh ok you single because that’s what you want.

I have just turned 31, and I am single and quite frankly that does not bother me in the slightest, although I am being harassed by my family “when you getting married?” “When will you settle down?” You are not getting any younger you know! Etc. You see I dated a few guys and none of them were right, I have suffered rejection like most people have so I made the decision that I was no longer going to rush into something i.e. a relationship just for the sake of being in one. Let me try to put it more plainly, if you buy a bag of apples and the WHOLE bag except 1 apple is rotten, what are you going to do? Are you going to eat all those rotten apples and then eat the apple that’s the best… or will you just eat the good apple, think about it I know that is a bit of a silly comparison but it’s true, I am not going to go through all the bad apples first and THEN eat the good one, just the same as I am not going to go into a relationship if I do not feel that its right.  

I firmly believe that God has big plans for me for all of us, and when the time is right, it will be according to his plan for my life whether that is now, a year from now, or 10 years from now it does not matter, and people need to accept that, not all of us are dependent on having a significant other. Oh and I have seen that before where people are so dependant of another person that they are too scared to end abusive relationships because they are TOO afraid of being alone… but in reality being alone is not the problem.

The problem is who you are depending on, don’t depend on other people depend on God, and allow Him to fulfil His plan for your life only then will you KNOW when something is right. The way I see it is God did not create for us each 20 soul mates we each have 1 and why should I continue to waste my time on something that is going nowhere?

Genesis 2:24 – For this reason a man will leave his mother and father and be united to his wife, and they will become 1 flesh.

So there you have it it’s obvious, it does not say that 10 men will leave their parents to marry the same wife, or vice versa it says A MAN (meaning 1 man) will leave his mother and father and be united with his wife.

Matthew 19:6 – So they are no longer two, but one, therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.

Here it says they are no longer 2 but 1 not 5 but 1. So I no longer will waste my time being in a relationship “just because” that is what is acceptable in society or because that is what people want from me, it’s not what other people want that matters to me it’s WHAT GOD wants that matters.

Yes everyone likes having that other person around, to share things with, someone that is not family but also not just a friend, I will be the first to admit that it IS nice having someone around, but when you sit and think about it, does that relationship have any MEANING at all when it is not what God wants, is it still so nice when at the end of the day you are headed for a dead end street, no its not because someone always gets hurt.

Spending your life with someone is a HUGE commitment, not one to be taken lightly either. A friend wrote a blog some time ago about marriage and that if you get married you need to be a warrior as it is a commitment that is made between 2 people and you can’t just up and leave when things get tough which is what so many married and unmarried couples do today, that is why it is SO important that you make the right choices in life, here is a link to his post go and take a read.

Lions Lead – “For Better or Worse… Really? Hope you all enjoyed this post as much as I have.

God Bless

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Posted on January 4, 2012, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 12 Comments.

  1. theWomanAtTheWell

    Bernadette,
    I LOVED your, “all the bad ones to get to the good ONE” analogy, it is SO true..Good Word from God today for this post! Thanks for writing it. Its cool isn’t it, when you think you have nothing to say and God opens you and puts His words down in your place…fantastic job! Blessings.-watw

    • Thank you, you know the funny thing is that I had meant to make the title Good apple or bad apples but when I previewed the post to see what it looked like I realised that i had typed God apple instead I was about to change it and realised that it actually worked as God apple meaning the “Apple” that God Chooses for us. so changed it to God’s apple it is amazing how God will give me something to write about and the little typo in my title was no typo it actually works better than the original title i had in mind.

  2. He will always provide what He wants to be said, no worries. Thanks for being faithful. Amazing how He can use our typo’s and our lives to speak.

  3. You are right on regarding depending on God instead of on other people. Even we married folks need to learn that lesson. Too often I’ve looked to my husband to satisfy my heart when only Jesus could fill the emptiness there.
    Tricia

  4. Good post here, got me thinking of the conversation I had recently with my mother side of the family. Love the post here. God Bless 🙂

  5. I really enjoyed reading your post Bernadette, as always. I think you’ve got it just right to in not wanting to have to eat all the bad apples in order to get the one good one.

    Now, I’ve been married for quiet some time now, so, whatever you do, don’t listen to what I am about to say.

    Okay, are you not listening now? Good!

    I think I learned during my days of being single that the best way to find Miss (or Mister) Right is to go about your normal life. Rather than being someone we’re not while trying to attract someone, we are ourselves. When we are being ourselves we have a much better chance of attracting the right partner than when we are being something we are not.

    Also, when we are not (desperately?) seeking a mate, we show our faith in God and His ability to put the right person in our lives at just the right time according to his plan.

    I pray that you will continue as you are and not grow weary or disheartened. After all, all things work together for good to them that love God.

    • Thank you John,

      At first I thought it was a silly way to explain the method behind my madness but people seem to like it lol. Ok I am not listening right about now. lol thats the whole point I am trying to make, if you go out looking for Mr or Ms right how do you know you have picked the right one whereas if you just leave it to God then you know its the right one.

      I have had my fingers burnt and I just dont want to go down that road again unless I know the person as well as the time is right.

      Thanks again for stopping by
      God Bless

  6. Being content where you are at right now is the best way to enjoy what God has for you now. You are right, there is no reason to have a relationship just to have one. I would say you are approaching from the right perspective. Friends and family are always pressuring. As soon as I had met my wife it was “when are you getting married” then “when are you having kids” then “when are you having another. People are like that. They mean well, but don’t always understand the nuances.

    • Thank you Derek for your valued opinion. I am glad others see it the same way as me, to be honest at this point in my life the only relationship I am interested in developing and strengthening is the one I have with God, its like nothing else matters. And he will make everything happen according to his plan for me I am most certainly not going to rush him, A lot of people I know who were married are now in the process of getting divorced and I see more people I know that are either divorced in the process of getting divorced or very un happy in their relationships that they are in, which makes me even more determined to not go down the same road as them and to make sure that when I make that decision that it is the right one.

      Honestly I never used to think this way I was one of those that was willing to put up with a relationship that was doomed from the start just for the sake of being in one it is only recently that I actually changed my views on this topic.

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