Christians dealing with Anger

I have seen this scripture before but never have I looked at it and applied it to my own life. I am ashamed to say but today this scripture applies to me.

 

 A fool shows his annoyance at once, but a prudent man overlooks an insult (Proverbs 12:16). 

 

I had an argument with a co worker today, he said something that made me angry, when I get angry I either shake like a leaf or I start to cry, today was both. I got mad and snapped back at this person. Normally this would not bother me; I mean I have had arguments before with many people. We both end up saying things and eventually we get over it at some point or another. Today was different though, it bothered me so much that it was all I could think about all the way home, when I got home the first thing I did was went down on my knees by my bed like we used to do when we were kids and prayed. I mean literally went on my knees, I prayed for forgiveness and letting myself get so angry when all this time I have been working towards the Goal, and that is to become what God wants me to be, I am certain that the person that retaliated today is not the person that God intended me to be.

 

Obviously I cannot take anything back, I have apologised but to try and fix this I need to know what the bible says about it, I am aware that there are many scriptures related to anger, I just never took the time to find out what they were, so let’s look at it together

 

Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing (Proverbs 12:18)

 

I know that some if not all of y words towards my colleague were reckless, why? Because I never took a minute to think about what I was about to say I just retaliated immediately. I do that often it is something I need to work on, not thinking before I speak. While the things he said to me were hurtful I am almost certain the things I said to him were just as hurtful, I don’t know what his reason was but what was mine, what reason did I have to go off the way I did, what is my excuse?…. THERE IS NO EXCUSE I’m afraid.

 

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger (Proverbs 15:1)

 

Instead of saying something like “sorry you feel that way” I fought back. All my life that’s has been my coping mechanism, is to fight back, to retaliate. It clearly is the completely wrong way in which to handle the situation, but it was the only way I knew how, and while I now know better I still struggle to control what comes out my mouth and the reactions I may give.

 

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger (Proverbs 15:1)

 

This Scripture is one that should be locked away somewhere in your memory, to be able to refer back to it in times like this when you feel anger, I think if I have read this scripture 5 times in my entire life it is a lot, had I known this scripture better and kept it in my memory ,maybe today would have ended differently

 

It is to a man’s honour to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel (Proverbs 20:3)

 

I should have been big enough to avoid this confrontation, but instead I fought back instantly.

 

You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, “Do not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.” But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment … first go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift (Matthew 5:21-24)

 

If I want to follow in the footsteps of Jesus, I HAVE to learn to control my anger, and I need to learn to forgive for without that I am headed nowhere.

 

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs (1 Corinthians 13:4-5)

 

This one is another scripture that I feel should be memorised, and referred to in times of need.

 

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you (Ephesians 4:29-32).

 

So here is what I plan to do, every day I will read the above scripture, and while I am only human, and might still falter, I have at least acknowledged the error in my ways, that is the first step. I prayed and asked God to help me, because this is something that I cannot do in my own strength. I have every faith that with time, I will with God’s help learn to control this and hopefully stop doing it all together

 

 

I found this poem on the internet and for me it pretty much sums up the effect of anger

 

Emotional Explosions…

 

Anger, a spark, within all of us.

There, anger is lurking, waiting to

Ignite the dynamite that will

Cause an explosion of words,

And actions, that cannot be taken back.

 

Anger, is the roadblock, to anything

And everything, worthwhile in life.

 

Anger, seemingly an involuntary reaction,

to rejection of thought or action.

 

Anger, an interpretation, of unacceptable behaviour.

 

Anger, almost always followed by regret.

 

Anger, an emotion. Whose children are,

Anxiety, fear, frustration, animosity, passion,

outrage and a thousands of other, emotionally

Affecting articulations.

 

Anger, the replacement of reason.

 

What is the enemy of anger? The

Enemy of anger, is, patience, understanding

And love.

 

Anger, the emotion, the world would be

Far better off, without.

 

Anger and bitterness toward anything or anyone, is so destructive for our lives and we need to do everything we can to avoid it. I would love to hear from all of you how you deal with anger. Always good when you are trying to get another person’s perspective on situations like these

 

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Posted on December 12, 2011, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 7 Comments.

  1. My first thought on this is that you may be being too hard on yourself, however, having been in your position before, it doesn’t matter if you are being too hard or not, the point is, you believe you stepped over the boundaries that you should not have.

    Having as your goal, the control of anger is an excellent one and it can be done. However, while I think you touched on it a bit, there are a few things worth noting. You ended with Eph 4 but don’t forget about verse 26. “be angry and yet do not sin” and James says ‘the anger of man does not work righteousness” (1:20) not at all saying that the anger of God is a bad thing…and God does show His anger!

    The point I think is that you should not be anger at insignificant or even unimportant things and unimportant things include one’s pride, ego and such. Things to be angry about would be unrighteousness and sin.

    When we ‘snap’ at a person, we run the risk of speaking with extra venom. When we think before we speak (james 1:19) we can make sure the words are measured.

    As for what helps me: knowing the word of God. You brought out many passages that dealt with anger and I am confident that over time you will be stronger in your control. Another thing that helps is this passage:

    “You shall not hate your brother in your heart, but you shall reason frankly with your neighbor, lest you incur sin because of him.
    (Lev 19:17)

    In other words, don’t hold the grudge. I am constantly telling people to “speak out before you yell out” or “speak up before you blow up”. The point is that if you are angry, say “I am angry, and this is why” When you bring it out and not hide it, it will not be there to feed the next insult and the next and after awhile a big pile of fuel is gathered together and Ka-Boom, it just blows!

    I am currently writing a lot about James, stop by and I hope it encourages you.

    • Thank you very much for your comment, I am sure there are so many more scriptures about anger I juat havent found them all, I will definately take a look at your blog, I a always keen to find new blogs to follow that will be a source of inspiration. God Bless

  2. I am so happy Joyce de Vivre pointed us to your site with her post about your NOTV promise. I am happily following you now. Hope you will drop in at my site, http://granbee.wordpress.com to see how some unexpected visitors manage to praise the birth of the Christ Child in the stall. I am applauding your NOTV decision and your spiritual investigation of how to avoid anger that my fingers are getting blistered, I am sure! Bless you–and keep up the great work!

    • Thank you very much, I actually saw that one of the blogs I follow had nominated you for the versatile blogger, so thought I would take a look, but you got to e before I got to you :), yes the proise I made for no TV was a surprise even to me, I must say though that I do not even think about TV really. I think the blogging has also helped me keep that promise, being able to write about it helps.

      God Bless, I will pop into your blog shortly

  3. Thank you for your honesty. Lately God has been dealing with me about anger and unforgiveness. What you have wrote here has been a great help to me.

  4. I was constantly on the defensive with my ex. Probably because I was ridiculed and criticized on a daily basis. I would wake up in the morning and in my morning prayer, would ask God to “let me handle all things today with good temper”, I’d ask that He help me keep my mouth shut when I should and to know when to speak up when I should. I’d ask His help to not fly off at the mouth if I feel I’m being attacked and show restraint.” And not 30 minutes later I would do completely the opposite of what I prayed about. Frustrating!! But I think the main point for us to see here is that we are RECOGNIZING it. That is a growth thing. At least it is for me. It doesn’t excuse harmful words but it’s all a part of our walk with Christ and to do better the next day. I believe that sometimes we just have to stand up for ourselves too. But we also have to be “different” than the world. So just keep trying to do better my friend as I will too. As our friend Steven Sarff said in his comment, don’t be so hard on yourself. God Bless and have a super spirit filled day!

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